The way you face your challenges – both large and small – can either lead you to true happiness or block you from ever attaining it.

“It is sometimes difficult to surmount life’s challenges with a hidden build-up of emotional baggage in our way,” says Sheri D. Engler, author of The Pearls of Wisdom: A Fairy Tale Guide to Life’s Magic Secrets for All Ages (

Engler, who has a background in psychology, counseling and research, says “We take time to go through our clothes closets and toss out what is outdated or no longer fits—but do we do that with our emotions? Clearing out your emotional closet will likely improve all aspects of your life. But more importantly, it’ll offer you the opportunity to discover your present self, which is frequently lost in the shadowy maze of your past self’s memories and experiences”.

In her work as an intuitive/life-coach, Engler says she sees encouraging success with her simple 3-step technique, which she designed to bring change through mere mindfulness and common sense. She says, “It’s a matter of being conscious of the critical difference between who you’ve been and who you are now. Without the extra baggage of outdated beliefs, you can move more easily through the open door of who you want to be, who you were meant to be. This technique is easy. It’s like shampooing your psyche—wash, rinse, repeat.”

The 3 steps are as follows:

Step 1) The Self Quiz – Write down on separate slips of paper the emotional issues you’d like to overcome, particularly targeting experiences you feel have damaged you. Note when it first began and the undesirable conditions that developed as a result. Lay out all the slips on a table with a wastebasket nearby. Read one issue at a time, and then ask yourself these questions: “Does this past experience have anything to do with the person I am now? Does it truly still bother me? Is it possible I overcame this long ago, or do I need to keep carrying it with me? Am I okay right now and going forward?”

Chances are strong that you will answer: “I’m not that person anymore. I’ve already gotten over that, and I see now that it’s not worth holding onto.” At this point, you joyfully wad up that outdated version of yourself, shoot it into the wastebasket and go to the next paper and repeat the process until the table is clear. It’s then that you realize that you need to update your emotional operating system at least as often your phone’s! It’s a simple matter of mindfulness. By asking yourself the right questions, you can proactively change the course of your life through the, sometimes eye-opening, answers you get. This brings us to the next step.

Step 2) Create Your F.A.T.E. – Engler says, “In order to effect true change in your life, I suggest using the quantum law of attraction. In The Pearls of Wisdom, the angel’s note says, ‘When spirit joins with heart, mind, and body—as One and of One—only then shall you truly see that ALL things are a possibility.’ It’s easiest to remember this magical secret by using the acronym ‘F.A.T.E.’ To manifest whatever you desire in your life, the simple key is to align your Feelings, Actions, and Thoughts to create your desired Experience. To put it even simpler, if you can pretend to the extent that every part of you believes that your wish has already happened, then the quantum field of manifestation will match that state and make it so. Ultimately, the universe cannot decide things for you, it can only give you more of what you already believe to be true. So, choose your feelings, thoughts, and actions consciously—and by law of the Universe—it will appear like Magic!”

Moving on, after you have become conscious of your current feelings and decluttered your emotional closet; and after you’ve become mindful of what you truly want in your life and understand how to “create your fate”, you are then ready for your final step.

Step 3) Forgiveness and Gratitude – Forgive yourself and others for all harm and damage and never look back. Engler says, “When you look back, you re-engage your past self and abandon your freshly de-cluttered present self… To anchor your positive life changes, you must try to stay in gratitude by focusing upon that which is good about yourself, about others, and about your life overall. Like attracts like. Whatever you project is what the Universe will assume you have chosen for yourself, and it will give you more of the same. So stay mindful of who you are and the choices you make, and you’ll give both the Universe and yourself something to smile about!”

Sheri D. Engler is the author/illustrator of The Pearls of Wisdom: A Fairy Tale Guide to Life’s Magic Secrets for All Ages ( She is an experienced mentor, medium, and metaphysicist with a background in psychology, counseling and research.